AKMay 13, 2025
“Thank you for this article. A regular piece on the issues men face would be very welcome. As a former high school soccer coach of high school boys and girls, I always thought boys and girls were more alike than different. But the statistics you recite are astounding. A few more: Men are 3 to 4 times more likely to commit suicide, Women live 5 years longer than men, Men are almost 3 times more likely suffer from homelessness, Men constitute 95% of the prison population; the list goes on. I don’t know why, but certainly the “toxic masculinity” narrative, devaluation of physical labor that many men do and the other issues cited in this article all contribute. I read many of the comments and I’m saddened by the anti-male, misandry many demonstrate. We have a serious problem with young men in the United States, let’s honestly address it.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/13/upshot/boys-falling-behind-data.html#commentsContainer
“As a former high school soccer coach of high school boys and girls, I always thought boys and girls were more alike than different. “ They always have been, I promise you.
T
Terminator 2
San FranciscoMay 13, 2025
Please stop telling us we're toxic. I don't understand why highly educated people who are so sensitive about language that they freak out about pronouns cannot see the negative impact that constantly saying "toxic masculinity" has on boys and young men.
T
Terminator 2
San FranciscoMay 13, 2025
Please stop telling us we're toxic. I don't understand why highly educated people who are so sensitive about language that they freak out about pronouns cannot see the negative impact that constantly saying "toxic masculinity" has on boys and young men.
Assigned American at birth
CanadaMay 13, 2025
I’m of the opinion that all of this constant gendered discussion about boys falling behind, and myriad articles jam-packed with statistics and charts to back it up, are part of the problem. Life is difficult, and all young people struggle. And they do seem to be struggling more with their mental health and adjustment these days. I won’t argue with that. But it is across the board. Boys are struggling. Girls are struggling. And gender nonconforming youth are struggling, to name a few demographics. By obsessing about gender differences, we only reinforce them for our children. There is no reason why a boy needs to grow up with different values than a girl. Wear different clothes. Have different hobbies. Girls play video games. Men make clothes. Girls can be awful to each other and to boys. Boys can be the same to each other and to them. If we stop talking so much about gender expectations, maybe kids can just live their lives without the pressure to measure up. The difference is here: Girls have historically struggled simply BECAUSE they were girls and discriminated against. Are boys struggling BECAUSE they are boys? I don’t think so. They aren’t struggling due to their maleness. Our society is still set up to reward men more than women for the same tasks. So boys may be struggling, but I don’t think it’s unique to them. I don’t think they are struggling because they were born male. It’s because our society obsesses about gender differences, creating unnatural expectations
J
J C Kile
PA&NYMay 13, 2025
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say one of the factors might be less men in education. I’m talking men who do men things like Tim Walz. Hunting, fishing, sports. When I started teaching in 1973 there was push to get more men in education, especially elementary, so it wasn’t seen as girly. That died with the salaries. There is more money elsewhere. I had one boy who was almost failing and hated school. He told me didn’t like reading much until I introduced him to books about dogs and hunting. Then magically a pile of library books appeared on his desk. He was on the honor roll his last marking period in my class. His dad, our janitor, said I saved him. Today he has land where he hunts, which he loves, a nice house good job and a family. I would play football with the kids at recess, even when it wasn’t my duty day. I had one boy who loved that and went on to star in high school. He said I made him a man. I’m not so sure about but the sentiments were nice. M I had another boy who came from a single mother family. The mother was very nice, loved her kids, but was stuck. She was a crossing guard. He went in the Army. He came back to see me in his uniform and I was so honored I could have cried. I felt like I should salute him. Boys need role models that reflect boy things sports, fishing hunting if that is the local culture, cars, what ever boys are interested in. They don’t need role models that are more metrosexual for lack of a better world. My opinion.
@Linda Cameron I find your response to this article somewhat disturbing. No one is blaming the girls for this outcome, and this is not a zero sum game. A generation of boys and young men is languishing and in need of help, and your immediate response is to say, "don't blame the girls!" which, again, is missing the point entirely in my opinion. This is not about assigning blame, it's about creating constructive solutions.
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/13/upshot/boys-falling-behind-data.html#commentsContainer
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