The issue with this notion is we’re enforcing women’s success as the standard men have to live up to or else they’re not successful.
Or women burn themselves out trying live up to feminisms modern rigid norm of women essentially being a social & emotional jack of all trades, without the common sense to gauge their own output or slow the hell down — basically women living a parody of what we thought being a man was about: Career worship vs having a purpose to serve, which actually what part of being a man is about.
A man without purpose or stake is a man who takes his own life, that what Matheson’s “The Incredible Shrinking Man” was about, not toxic masculinity or fragile masculinity or any of these “fuck masculinity” bingo terms: It was & is about a man’s purpose, utility & his stake being progressively removed, violated even and while the main enemy was his own self-imposed paranoia, & he did things in response to that panic that wasn’t right, yet the existential reality existed for Scott — that he was indeed becoming irrelevant by force, that was not his fault; but also becoming something greater than any human, he just didn’t know it & his transition could’ve been smoother for him and everyone involved if he ignored what the narrative of the situation entailed, and kept his traditional masculinity stubbornly during the change. Not panicking because he had to give up some control or feeling change meant abandoning the trad formula, which then creates confusion & loss of what even is masculinity. The existential horror of uncertainty and loss of stake & purpose.
In this context, men can have that happy ending, but society has to play it’s part in not turning men into the bitter Scott Casey of the story; and let men know as early as possible that “Women don’t need to be dependent on you to still need you.” “Men have a stake.” “If men are retreating to figure things out, give them space. If they’re running away, what can we do to resuscitate their want to engage with society as we know it.”
The solution is protecting men: society giving a fuck
If society spent 40 years telling men their traditional roles were “toxic” or “obsolete,” it cannot be surprised when men stop investing in that society.
If society spent 40 years telling men their traditional roles were “toxic” or “obsolete,” it cannot be surprised when men stop investing in that society.
That consideration gives agency, control, & puts the ball in in one’s court. You matter, we need you, meet us half way; now it’s on you to speak up. But the line of communication has to exist vs men just absorbing a narrative & their comments get drowned out by dismissal, which only enables them further into regression.
Feminism knows nothing about that or masculinity, so we call “trad” rigid, new modern norms are siphoning women of their very lifeforce or the will to even start a family because modern norms are also rigid but with extra pressures no one wants to address it as also a rigidity, despite the fact that it’s slowly killing your birthrates, thus killing your civilization lmfao.
And now we’re telling men them not burning themselves out like women do or not matching what women choose to do (sometimes at their own detriment) is men falling behind.
You can’t have both.
Or the implication that women’s success is somehow a cause of men’s alleged falling behind, despite men still doing all the heavy labor jobs that keeps your country’s lights on.
Closing the gap between men and women isn’t women exceeding men, it’s women making their own decisions as women do.
When they get burnt out, then It’s women doing too much, why are we telling men they’re falling behind a formula that’s ripping women apart, as we learn in other articles.
Because in this conversation it’s women succeeding or surpassing because they’re not held back anymore, flattering narrative; and then in the next breath women are burnt out & opting out (aka running away) because too much is put on them, which some can argue is an adult skill issue.
It’s always a favorable narrative for the ladies. Pioneers today, grasping the stars while men are playing in dirt, yet women are victims of pressure tomorrow; it is never on women when things in the lives of women go wrong, always someone or something else.
Men? If they don’t perform, if they don’t manage or match standard of success we presume they’re falling behind of, aka “rigid norm”.
And now if they’re not going to college just for the sake of it, even that is falling behind. That’s on men, because men don’t get the same flattery.
College for example is red flag #1 for me with that narrative, we’re trying to hold men to the standard women choose to live & die by;
Men not going to college is not men falling behind.
Who’s still building everything in society? if it’s not women, why is that not women falling behind in some metric?
Why is that not a doompost that women are the majority of your species and yet men are still doing the heavier load of the work? That’s not bad optics?
Is physical labor the only labor that exists? No? But you see it glow in the dark from space, that’s all I know.
And even something like child raising is not so invisible itself when people being productive members is the visibility, so women being convinced their labor is invisible are just too damn impressionable, westerners are too damn negative man & women are too easy lead astray: But only if they’re convinced someone’s out to get them.
Women need to exercise more agency against the people preaching to them the power of agency.
You can read this right now because some dude somewhere went to work & kept the power grid up for another 24 hours.
That’s not pathetic or a bad look on women? We’re too selective about this tone we have with males. That’s my point, I’m not one of those people that believes that everything has to be 50:50 ratio all times, everyday, every second, scoreboarding.
So the reason why mankeeping is nonsensical as a concept, is also why I don’t hold it against women for not carrying their weight in fields they can afford to ignore, despite their everyday lives depending on someone doing the work.
You won’t see VICE or Buzzfeed bring that shit up, I promise you that.
If women are behind, it’s about systemic barring, a boogeyman; if it’s men, then it’s a performative issue. It’s only a problem of personal responsibility but only if men are the subject of debate.
🚨DISCLAIMER: This isn’t about women. That & later tangents are just examples to map out just how helpful this tone and attitude is whenever men happen to be the unlucky ones to be the topic of discussion.
Cause Despite how much men do, always seems it’s never enough.
TL;DR Again, If men are still the one’s building your bridges, cities, literally everything and maintaining it still. Men aren’t falling behind, they’re living different, *EGAD said the crowd.
Women are simply filling the gaps men are opting out or never felt led to pursue in the first place, and there’s nothing wrong with that; that’s literally women complimenting what men don’t want to do.
Why is that considered falling behind?
Women statistically should be excelling numerically because no matter what — women outnumber men anyway. By metrics they should always be ahead, but it doesn’t mean they’re doing better, nor is it a competition. Women being in a good place or isn’t men losing. Like what even is this topic?
This competitivity fetish Americans have is why women burn themselves out recklessly trying to match an energy men never possessed and men retreat & run away to fetishisms to replace the role women should have in their conscious lives.
If women’s engagement with enrollment ceased, that would be spun as women walking away from it, a narrative of agency.
A lot of this has more to do with perception than reality.
✅Mental health, suicide, violent crime rates & likeminded valid concerns are another matter worth talking about.✅ But one way you can help:
is stop assaulting boys with narratives that they’re “falling behind”
I’m not asking we lie to people, but haven’t you been smothering men with essentially “Do better” for damn near 30–40 years now? When is enough enough?
When has driving the blade deeper EVER driven any group of people to give it their all and do better & themselves and others? Would that treatment work for women?
Why is it that empowerment is preconceived to be a default reality for men when every other word out of society’s mouth to men is negative, demeaning, derailment, disrespect, victim blaming, dismissal, complete erasure of their concerns or issues.
And majority of death gaps are male dominated.
Are men are really born groomed to expect success? Or are you holding onto a notion that’s almost 80 years dead? Or is the definition of success whatever women are excelling in that decade?
Labels like “toxic masculinity” — when bad behavior is NOT gendered: like pinning a victim down by physical force to violate them is not male specific (yes, someone said because women get taken advantage of physically is a woman specific experience, that’s a real statement. And no I’m not quoting that stupidity.) A woman can do the same to a child and even another man in some contexts, fatality by vehicle as a deadly weapon isn’t toxic femininity is it?
Frequency of said act does not excuse nor justify the label isolating “masculinity” to certain behavior in this disgusting attempt to conflate the handful of males being bad or evil to mean that’s masculinity being toxic as if bad or evil women don’t do the same thing.
It’s pure ignorance, the entire point of the propagandist label is a concept called “association”.
It’s less about the act than it is what we’re associating it with, that’s the entire point. Because if it was about bad behavior, then just call it toxic.
When another woman puts her baby in an oven or sleeps with a student, or poisons someone, runs someone over, threatens a BF with a knife, kills someone, keying cars. Is that toxic femininity indicative of a brand of femininity being evil? or is it THAT woman as the individual was evil — because she exhibited toxic behavior, that doesn’t need an extra descriptor. — The term isn’t new, but neither is misdirection, which is exactly what it is. A red herring. Stop obeying these cereal box slogans you get fed, think for yourself & really dissect the psychological ingredients of what it is you’re repeating, because these terms are scientific in how they’re constructed, it’s an art, hence propagandism.)
So instead of perpetual doom-posting, instead (as the authorities, as the people with platform, including myself) provide SOLUTIONS to the matter with the address. That is- if your agenda was actually helping.
Not an ultimatum, not an attack, not an address to men and boys to remind them yet again how inept they are: Help these people as if they’re worth protecting —
As we help women and girls; also help men and boys as if they’re worth protecting too.
because just the way most of us peak, it’s lack the humanity of “protect men” in the tone, I don’t even have to hear your voices, I can smell it in the digital text. Even the people trying to help, they also lack that active undertone sometimes.
There’s a difference between men failing or falling behind because they’re not living up to Men’s / their own potential by their standards, and according the interests of males vs you/us—
🚨 gaslighting men that they’re falling behind because they’re not living their lives like women.🚨I can’t make that any clearer.
Cutting that shit out BOTH WAYS would help massively; because of a lot of what superwoman syndrome has become is just women burning themselves out living up feminisms expectations of what they thought patriarchal career culture was, aka a parody.
If you’re going to finger wag, extend a hand with it.
- Fact is, men still carry society in ways A.I no time soon will be able to supplant, nor women are planning to contribute to in ways that will matter statistically.
- Power lines, sewer systems, cell towers, grids, your cities, elevator techs, etc. etc. fields & careers I don’t even know about yet, all that can exist because of men.
All maintained regardless of women — BECAUSE of men. Highlight that more sometime.👍Because it’s not headcanon, it’s reality.
Encourage men with feats men do majorly as is and have been doing. Boost them up, empower.
Some people in the comments of that article surmise instead of society accommodating to women as usual (not a myth); instead they claim women adapted “as we always do” (sure you do) & men fell behind by stagnating (victim blaming basically). Despite DEI and hiring processes going out of their way to skip over more qualified members (male or female or white) for various identity boxes. (because women can get skipped over for a POC that is male for example).
A would be Firefighter has testified this on record, and he’s right:
https://www.facebook.com/reel/952817143480173
Women have did their share of adapting then, but they’re not the women of your generation. These are silver spooned crop trying to own feats of endurance that doesn’t belong to them #1, #2 while living in a generation of women crying burn out but also claiming adaptation, make that make sense.
Just being a woman doesn’t mean you have the strength of stronger women before you, it doesn’t mean you’re strong by extension of being female, it means you benefitted from their strength.
Perform your own feats, don’t hijack theirs. I’d hold myself accountable as well for all the times I’ve said “we” when mentioning tradesmen males being a hijack of their work: But the plot twist is I’ve worked trade jobs so, in that regard I get a pass because I fit the mold.
If the women claiming such things fit the mold as well too, well then they’re the real ones. But I find a lot of us are making claims online thinking being born a sex is like being part of a special club or The Avatat State where the members before us, their feats are ours to claim as our own or something. Ridiculous.
Great women before me? I’d just as soon take pride in their accomplishments as I would a man’s, because I am human before I am a male human.
That’s how I evolved this “vs” bullshit: the attitude.
Westerners and Americans need to diminish the doom, increase positive reinforcement of feats men still do and have been doing.
Yes, I belabored that point because it’s true. Men have been here on business, Women were let out the cages, they caught up and men are still carrying some fields alone while women dominate others.
It’s called a counterbalance, not “competition.”
Now let me make this clear so that I’m not repeating what other articles do:
🚨NO — that’s not indicative of women falling behind or failing or getting carried. #1
🚨#2 It means women live differently from men, whilst not being that much different from men.
🚨#3 the sexes are not from different planets. Boys & girls don’t think the same but they are not different, they compliment the other.
You can 1000% moralize & encourage engagement by just curbing the one-sided “do better” negativity.
Women experience failure — -> it’s the system or men’s fault.
Men experience failure — -> it’s patriarchy’s fault making them into incorrect models of maleness, or it’s the internet’s fault for spreading bad messages, it’s masculinity’s fault, thus it’s men’s fault. A flaw of men in some way, personal accountability.
You can’t have that air in your chests when your everyday privilege is because of Father Patriarchy, I’ve yet to see a Matriarchy get this far, let alone America.
So maybe cut the bullshit and wake up. Or keep doing what you been doing, and see how far you get those birthrates by 2030, cause if you’re going divebomb, have fun with it, right?
You should grateful & thanking whatever you pray to (even if your god is your next paycheck) that men do stagnate, that’s called “consistency.”
Change isn’t always a good thing, changing something that functioned, even if outdated is part of why you’re declining.
Changing something outdated but functional for something inclusive, egalitarian, more acceptable but you’re declining anyway.
The outcome is the data, and even then, don’t always believe statistics, because people can lie about statistical realities to control how you see your reality which can then in prophetic fashion fulfill the statistical downfall you were shown.
I’m not saying adopt conspiracy, but just keep an open mind — both ways.
You keep seeing decline because “failing” “falling behind” “toxic masculinity” & disrespect is all males see. And then the alternative they hunt down is fetishism, positive reinforcement from blatant exercises of misogyny, overindulgence, regression, etc.
Men make their own damn decisions, but society has it’s role in pushing men into that world through sheer neglect. Shrinking them into a shell of themselves & women are left with nothing. Society, not patriarchy, but SOCIETY aka everyone involved from media to education as it is & has been these past 30 years has more blame to shoulder than anything & anyone.
You don’t treat women like this, so why do you chastise your men for supposedly being taught outdated masculinity concepts like “stoicism” —
- then men are a burden to women when they become the sensitive men feminism told women they should want
- — but then you also address your men in articles (academia too) with this detached tone as if men have no feelings or human agency worth respecting whatsoever.
It’s no wonder you’re falling apart, you people have lost your damn minds & most men (while many males are just cowardly, shying from expectation whatsoever), most have given up trying to be whatever you say masculinity is this week vs the trad masculinity that got your sorry asses this far.
The masculinity that builds empires vs your modern masculinity that women in REAL WORLD experience have found out the hard way they can’t lean on or rely on for strength or consistency & then ask “what happened” to men? They listened to modern feminism, leftist liberalism, neither one knows what a man is, so much so they think anyone can just become a man lol. Talk about trivializing right? Imagine how women feel in reverse.
This is what happens when you re-define something you never understood and had no business touching. Because if it wasn’t about “that” or “this” masculinity, notice how the declines you face in sex relations, birthrates didn’t start until after you started making conscious efforts to redefine everything, none of this is an accident, it was a slow burn outcome.
And trad didn’t do it, you can pretend women moving on & men trying to cling to traditional masculine stereotypes is what got you here, you can comfort yourselves with that lie but just know: You feeling you had to abandon it for the sake of progress, for an alternative that DOES NOT WORK — is what got you here.
Men are not things to complain to, chastise & then they’ll wake up the next day and make life better for everyone because we finally got rid of the patriarchy; and everyone became friends & equity reigned supreme, then First world society became TYPE-III Civilization in 50 years record time because that dastardly patriarchy got out the way and a woman became president. bla bla bla —
that’s not how it works.
Treat men like people, not underperforming robots. The tone you address women with ? With care, humanity, understanding, empathy, leeway, good faith?— keep that energy for men.
And the crazy thing is, the author of that article was actually not a prick about it, I can tell just from her tone in the comments that she tried to be fair. Props to her. The issue still remains that pointing out that “problem” exists is not a solution, I’ve been guilty of that myself, it’s a horrible habit people engage in.
- ✅The falling behind we perceive with men & what we see women aren't doing compared to men: Is called a counterbalance. Boys & girls think on unique spectrums, physically complimentary, but are not that different to treat as two separate factions, not even close to being that serious.
Otherwise a solution needs to be attached to the valid addresses that need change and the regular trademark western doom posts.
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