It’s Not Just a Feeling: Data Shows Boys and Young Men Are Falling Behind” — Are they really? Behind who exactly? Who or What is the standard of what we consider “success”? (2025)

“It’s Not Just a Feeling: Data Shows Boys and Young Men Are Falling Behind” — according to what standard?

The issue with this notion is we selectively choose what areas women are excelling in, notice men aren’t doing that: then decide men are falling behind while ignoring the areas women are lacking in.

So instead of stating men & women are counterbalancing each other economically, it’s about someone being behind.

• Or women burn themselves out trying live up to feminisms modern rigid norm of women essentially being a social, professional & emotional jack of all trades; without equipping them with the common sense to gauge their own output or slow the hell down. -- 

Hence why it’s not being in relationships with men that’s burning women out, because as women are becoming more single, childless, adhering to feminisms rigid norms and single women still suffer burnout.

So "burnout" has less to do with men and more to do with women's stamina threshold as adults, and what women are doing to be "ahead".

Academia is now telling us men are falling behind a failing model that's draining women in the first place. 

A narrative that sought to address or sensationalize men's decline is actually illustrating women's overarching issues, the truth is funny like that.

• Basically women living a parody of what we thought being a man was about: Career worship vs having a purpose to serve, which is the essence of being a man, having a stake.

A man without purpose or stake is a man who takes his own life, that is what Matheson’s “The Incredible Shrinking Man” was about. Not the bullshit term “toxic masculinity” or fragile masculinity or any of these antagonistic “[insert scrabble word]-masculinity” bingo games:

• It was & is about a man’s existential horror: purpose, utility & his stake being progressively removed and violated.
• While the main enemy was his own self-imposed paranoia & he did things in response to that panic that wasn’t right, such as misplaced anger to his wife (which plenty boys do in the form of frustration with how society works against males in favor of women which bleeds into manifesting into misogyny), yet the existential reality of Scott was very real, and his panic was 100% valid — that he was indeed becoming irrelevant by force. But he was still relevant & a person to Louise.
• The situation was not his fault but he also was becoming something greater than any human, he just didn’t know it. 
• His transition could’ve been smoother for him and everyone involved if he ignored what the situation (society) entailed, and kept his traditional masculinity stubbornly during the change, worked out, sought to be emotional support for Louise, supported her desire to work instead of denying that for her because of how it made him feel.
• Instead of panicking because he had to give up some control or feeling change meant abandoning the trad formula (Modern First world society), though his panic was 100% justified. His fear or conforming to the progress of his regression created confusion & loss of what even is masculinity. The existential horror of uncertainty and loss of stake & purpose. That is what the story is about.

In this context, men do not have to suffer like Scott, but society has to play it’s part in not turning men into the bitter Scott Casey of the story and let men know as early as possible that

•  “Women don’t need to be dependent on you to still need you.”
•  "Men are not just a paycheck for women. Provision can be something as simple as a shoulder to cry on or fixing something, or repair, or childcare. Provision is not money, it is positive contribution of any kind"
•  “Men have a stake.” 
• “If men are retreating to figure things out, give them space. If they’re running away, what can we do to resuscitate their want to engage with society as we know it. What are they running away from?”

The solution is protecting men from lack of stake: society giving a fuck. So men aren’t retreating and regressing to protect themselves from society’s constant attacks.

“If society spent 40 years telling men their traditional roles were “toxic” or “obsolete,” it cannot be surprised when men stop investing in that society.”

That consideration gives agency, control to males, & puts the ball in their court-- the right way. This isn't about coddling men, this is about society having that fine line of communication that has to exist to reach men vs men just absorbing narrative after narrative after narrative after narrative from people ‘-splaining’ to men what is wrong with men.

And men’s voices get drowned out by dismissal, vile comment sections from deflectors, which only enables them further into regression and even hatred of women & society.

So o we call “trad” rigid, but new modern feminist norms are siphoning women of their very lifeforce or the will to even start a family or maintain a relationship without running away; because modern norms are also rigid & inflexible but with extra pressures no one wants to address.

Because that is also a rigidity, despite the fact that it’s slowly killing your birthrates, thus killing your civilization. Which traditional ways did not do.

• And now we’re telling men them not burning themselves out like women do (not all women, but enough women to it's become headlines & personal testimony, so apparently feminism isn't treating women ideally. So what business do they have telling men how to behave? And when men listen anyway, women see them as burdens.) 
• Or not matching what women choose to do (sometimes at their own detriment)- is men falling behind.

You can’t have both.

You can’t complain that societal pressure on women is hurting women then in the same breath claim men are falling behind because men aren’t doing what’s burning women out.

You can’t have both.

Or the implication that women’s success & not being handicapped like in the past is somehow a cause of men’s alleged falling behind.

The gap closed is the presumption, which makes zero sense because men still do all the heavy labor jobs that keeps your country’s lights on. But is academia going to lean harder into that fact so we can finally have a nuanced grasp on the matter? Of course not. 

So what this is really about is society majorly considers soft-skill economy professions & college degrees, as measures of success but ignore the harder-skill / trade categories and actual certifications women are falling behind on. 

So focus on a category, point out men don't do it. Then say men are falling behind, and because we're academia: you should just take our word for it because credentials over common sense.

And if I were to be generous: closing "the gap" between men and women isn’t women exceeding men, it’s women making their own decisions as women do. As men age & mortality rates take male lives as time goes on, women become the majority by extension, so of course the numbers will show a disparity eventually. Women last longer.

And when women get burnt out, then It’s women doing too much.

Again, why are we telling men they’re falling behind regarding a formula that’s ripping women apart- as we learn in other articles and discussions.

Pick a lane, stick to a narrative. Stop making men feel like aliens in their own country because their decisions don't emulate how women live their lives. Stop trying to turn women into the men they want to date and turning men into the "sensitive", apologetic & "open" women you should be providing to the men in the first place.

I've seen this premise that women succeed or surpassing because they’re not held back anymore or some bullshit, a flattering narrative while your cities are still built by men.

And then in the next breath women are burnt out (because they can't handle the superwoman formula thrust on them)  & opting out (aka running away/giving up) because too much is put on them:

They can't handle it. Because progress handed women a new a rigid norm, that's why women are getting burned out.

Which some can argue is an adult skill issue. Fragility even, and it's not women's fault they aren't trained to manage their lives better.

Why do I belabor this point? Because it’s 1000% relevant. It’s hypocrisy.

✅✅Side point:

See headlines will say "men are falling behind" but that was always the agenda, because if women don't earn or aren't 50:50 on something: then it's a systemic problem, but if males are outearned or behind, or women are ahead, then it's a good thing.

You see how this shit works? The point was always to get men out the way, not helping them step up or match women, it was getting rid of the competition and making a new era of "man" that is not male.

The "step up" gaslight is just to make men feel inept as usual, so women feel vindicated & academia/ society's mouthpieces never have to take responsibility for the role they played in destroying civilizations life support: [Males giving a shit]

• The Americans are going to find out the brutal way that women being ahead means less than nothing the second men say "fuck you" & stop trying entirely. "Why aren't men approaching us?"

• Women not working in the past made America not as efficient but it wasn't on life support, when let men walk away for good, opt out, regress, retreat, etc. America is beyond fucked. You could use more women in the workforce but you NEED MEN to work, there's a difference. Want vs need.

It’s always a favorable narrative that’s spared for the ladies that they are pioneers today vs men, grasping the stars while the boys are playing in dirt. Yet women are victims of pressure tomorrow, or victims of men not serving women properly in some way.

It's disgusting.

• It is never on women when things in the lives of women go wrong, always someone or something else. 

🚨With that attitude, you will never cultivate the best female leaders you could possibly have when they never have to take accountability, because a woman's humility is a threat to her empowerment.

And more importantly— Cultivate proper mothers that choose more responsibly who she grants access to the body, quality wife and partner. You will never crack the code or possess the best options on the planet IF NOTHING IS EVER THEIR FAULT. You have to realize this. 

Men? If they don’t perform, if they don’t manage or match some standard of success academia decided is universal for everyone (rigid norm much?)- then we presume men are falling behind the new modern rigid norms that’s blanketed in a societal paradigm of female burnout and male suicide and male & female loneliness.

And now if they’re not going to college just for the sake of it, even that is falling behind, allegedly.

• Never mind the fact they’re still building everything despite women being the majority of the species in the longterm, so why is the longterm minority doing all the harder labor, well paid labor, but somehow men are framed as falling behind?

College for example is red flag #1 for me with that “falling behind” narrative, we’re trying to hold men to the standard women choose to live & die by; as if college is a measure of success. 

Men not going to college is not men falling behind.

Who’s still building everything in society? (I repeat) If it’s not women, why is that not women falling behind in some metric? Oh because Academia decided it wasn't important?

Why is that not a doompost that women are the empowered of your species #Empowerment #Girlpower #GirlBoss and yet men are still doing the heavier load of the work as the longterm minority? That’s not bad optics for women?

Is physical labor the only labor that exists? No, but neither is the soft-skill categories or college-- western society selectively highlights that’s female dominated that you pretend are the only measures of success so that we can say men are falling behind in. 

Not impressed with your creative strategies to make your men more and more demoralized. NOT-IMPRESSED.

And even something like child raising is not so invisible itself when people being productive members is the visibility. 

• So women being convinced their labor is invisible- are just too damn impressionable to be convinced by someone somewhere that women have to be bitter over something this week. 
• Women want to exercise agency against everyone EXCEPT the agents feeding them these talking points.
• Westerners are too damn negative and women are too easy lead astray: But only if they’re convinced someone’s out to get them, that's when women are easiest, false sense of security.

Women need to exercise more agency against the people preaching to them the power of agency. Paradoxically.

You can read this right now because some dudes somewhere went to work that week & kept the power grid up for another 24 hours. Or built the building you walk into without a second thought as to how that building got there, you just know the building is there when you drive or walk there. All these things in society didn't just appear lol &  gender studies master degree didn't build it. Feminism didn't build it, a hashtag didn't built your starbucks; men built it.

Will these "falling behind" authors mention that? Nope, because it supports men; and women aren't the main characters of that narrative.

See, we’re too selective about this tone we have with males & the tone we spare ONLY for them, that’s my point here. Not women not being the kitchen vs why are Americans so hellbent on men mirroring everything women do, down to how men express emotions? 

•  Soft-skill fields women fill up are not the only sections of society that civilization needs, so stop pretending what women excel at are the only positions of success that matter. 
• Because when society does that to mothers, I repeat that's "Invisible Labor", but the same woe is me energy isn't spared for those boys on those oil rigs or construction sites.

Stop gaslighting. 

I’m not one of those people that believes that everything has to be 50:50 ratio at all times, everyday, every second, score-boarding. Because if nature worked like that we'd have two suns, and no moon.

  And so by that token, women not contributing to trade fields is actually not a problem or a strike against the ladies but inversely, men not living like women professionally is not men "falling behind".

• Nature is not 50:50, it counterbalances. Humans are the only idiots in the universe that enforce that dogma, and it doesn't work. It's ideal, it makes everyone feel fuzzy but it's not realistic.
• Proof? Men are falling behind, what happened to equality? Or did equality just mean "Women's gain".

So the reason why "mankeeping" is nonsensical as a concept, is also why I don’t hold it against women for not carrying their weight in fields they can afford to ignore because men are carrying.

Or claim or outlets claim on women's behalf it's because the hiring process is not welcoming, it's jobs men are "taking from women", no efforts to recruit women: any and every scapegoat, complaint, thumb-sucking excuse to avoid admitting women don't want to work on a scaffold 100ft feet in the air: and that's women's choice, not the fault of "system" or men.

Despite the numbers women possess to carry their weight in said fields; despite their everyday lives depending on someone’s son doing the work. Women choose not to help, because they simply do not want to, and that's fine.

You won’t see VICE or Buzzfeed bring that shit up, I promise you that, too busy coddling women like children.

🚨If women are behind, it’s about systemic barring, a boogeyman, a ceiling.

🚨If it’s men, then it’s a performative issue or toxic masculinity or patriarchy's lingering curse, or it's voodoo or some bullshit society fabricates to avoid admitting neglecting men for women's ascension was a mistake, feminism was flawed.

•  It’s only a problem of personal responsibility if men are the subject of debate. 
• This is why the "modern woman subject": will always be incomplete and defective. Political & Professional mascot but an interpersonal, existential failure: hence burnout, hence loneliness, hence can't maintain a stable relationship because of "self" worship. Groomed to be a competitor not a companion anybody wants. 
• And as much as I stress how women are not held accountable: That I just mapped out feminism & progress' "modern woman" formula, is inherently flawed, women got screwed and it's not women's fault that they were convinced to OBEY a new rigid, flawed, toxic norm just to spite the patriarchal norms.

[Sidenote: This is why the quality of woman specifically has tanked in America/ & in parallel western countries. The quality of men has tanked too, but not in the same way the women did.

Otherwise It's like you want your women to maintain a false sense of security so they never improve as options, just sit back and wait for everyone else to be worthy of their time, which isn't toxic at all. 

Think about it: certain sects can always have the power to control the worldview of women, but it only works if they're independent of men and dependent on the headline of the week. 

*Take that with a grain of salt tho, but it's just a thought. 

Because If I wanted to sabotage women or men on purpose, making them think they're always in the right even when wrong is the perfect way to mix the poison with the medicine.

I tell them on their side, the other side is their worst best interest (even though I know the unity of male & female makes women harder to control for me as the system). And so isolation is independence, loneliness is the price of being educated because men are just intimidated. 

Meanwhile I sit back and watch both sides suffer & burn. Numbers & statistics just tank and tank tank. And that's "progress".

That's some supervillain shit, and it's genius  sociological warfare. Again --- Take that specific tangent with a grain of salt.*]

🚨DISCLAIMER: This isn’t about women. These are examples to map out just how helpful this tone and attitude is whenever men happen to be the unlucky ones to be the topic of discussion. Cause despite how much men do, always seems it’s never enough.

TL;DR Again, If men are still the one’s building your bridges, cities, literally everything and maintaining it still. Men aren’t falling behind, they’re just not living their lives like women — - *EGAD said the crowd.

Women are simply filling the gaps men are opting out or never felt led to pursue in the first place, or a shift happened and there’s nothing wrong with that; that’s literally women complimenting what men don’t want to do and the vice versa.

Why is that considered falling behind? 

Just like most women don’t want to work on oil rigs, cut off from the mainland for weeks on end. But plenty of men will do it.

Why isn’t that considered women falling behind?

Again, statistically & longterm, women should be excelling numerically — because no matter what — women outnumber men anyway as time goes on

By metrics they should always be ahead, but it doesn’t mean they’re doing better or not doing good by their own standards, nor is it a competition — so stop making it a competition then wonder why the two sides always wrestle, or maybe you don't wonder & just accept that resentment is your norm. Which is .....really unhealthy. 

Which is the undertone of “falling behind”. Women being in a good place is not men losing or falling behind, so stop it already.

This competitivity fetish Americans have is why women burn themselves out recklessly trying to match a cartoonish ghost of men that never existed and men retreat & run away to fetishisms to replace the role women should have in their conscious lives because access to women is not worth it anymore or too dangerous or men are too lazy to earn it.

If women’s engagement with enrollment ceased, that would be spun as women walking away from it, a narrative of agency.

If men don’t enroll, they’re falling behind. You're not slick, Americans. You're predictable.

And thus, a lot of this has more to do with perception than reality, how these agents spin the narrative.

✅Mental health, suicide, violent crime rates & likeminded valid concerns are another matter worth talking about which is more relevant to parenting. But that isn't men falling behind because testosterone will guarantee there will be tragic extremities to the male persuasion (which explains why men keep working dangerous jobs, that's because of drive & testosterone) but the suicides & violent crime ratio won't make up more than half of your male population. 

So maybe perfect your parenting, instead of using your fallacious & disingenuous "toxic masculinity" scapegoat (because women commit the same offenses men do & no Jack the Ripper clone has manifested because a boy was told "boys don't cry" aka feel emotions but don't be in your feelings).

 Support & share the empowerment. If that's not too much to ask, treat men like people & not underperforming pets, America, you just might like it.✅ And one more way you can help:

is stop assaulting boys with narratives that they’re “falling behind”, show some respect and an ounce of self-awareness, humanity, or consideration. You want men to open up but we display zero sensitivity as if they have any feelings.

 

I’m not asking we lie to people, but haven’t you been smothering men with essentially “Do better” for damn near 30–40 years now?

And has it ever worked?

When is enough enough?

When has driving the blade deeper EVER driven any group of people to give it their all and do better for themselves and others? Would that treatment work for women?

Why is it that empowerment is preconceived to be a default reality for men when every other word out of society’s mouth to men is negative, demeaning, derailment, disrespect, victim blaming, dismissal, complete erasure of their concerns or issues.

And majority of death gaps are male dominated, the media does not care — and despite that, you somehow think “toxic masculinity” is why men commit suicide and not America’s/West world’s comfortable indifference, dehumanization, and neglect with malekind isn't the reason. Men aren't a headline UNLESS they do something wrong.

You think men don't see or notice that? I promise you they do.

Are men really born groomed to expect success? Or are you holding onto a notion that’s almost 80 years dead? 

Or is the definition of success whatever category women are excelling in that decade?

Labels like “toxic masculinity” — when bad behavior is NOT gendered, nor are the socializations boys used to be conditioned with yet suicide & violence remains on both sides, almost as if instability is part of the human condition more relevant to parenting and individual social disability than masculinity boogeyman. Hm, gee golly.

 

Men are more emotional & open than ever, so much so that “Mankeeping” became a thing because men listened to society and opened their mouths & shared. Now the goalpost move is lack of reciprocation, but what women haven't been reciprocating for generations ? Let's ignore that part. The fact that lesbians also suffer emotional/social burnouts proves it's not a problem unique to men, as usual, women are doing too much-- but the narrative is spun to make as if men are the problem.

And you don't think that devoted campaign to attack attack attack men  has less to do with male suicide & male disengagement with society than "scapegoat masculinity", oops excuse me "Toxic masculinity". 

Interesting logic there, I suppose if a spouse calls their partner a failure everyday, the victim should be grateful for the attention huh?

Instead of perpetual doom-posting, instead (as the authorities, as the people with platform, including myself) provide SOLUTIONS to the matter with the address. That is- if your agenda was actually helping, which often- it’s not.

Provide men not with an ultimatum, not an attack, not an address to men and boys to remind them yet again how inept they are: Help these people as if they’re worth protecting — as human beings.

As we help women and girls; also help men and boys as if they’re worth protecting too. If you first worlders can manage to stomach such a reality.

because just the way most of us peak, it’s lack the humanity of “protect” in the tone, I don’t even have to hear your voices, I can smell it in the digital text and the people in comment sections ready to blame men shows even further how deep this evil has gotten.

Even the people trying to help, they also lack that active undertone sometimes. Sometimes you can help just by formulating the title more responsibly.

🚨There’s a difference between men failing or falling behind because they’re not living up to Men’s / their own potential by their standards, interest, patterns of proclivity and according the interests of males vs you/us— gaslighting men that they’re falling behind because they’re not living their lives, not behaving, not walking, not expressing their emotions in therapy — like women.🚨I can’t make that any clearer.

Cutting that shit out BOTH WAYS would help massively; because of a lot of what superwoman syndrome has become is just women burning themselves out living up feminisms expectations of what they thought patriarchal career culture was, aka a parody.

If you’re going to finger wag, extend a hand with it.

• Fact is, men still carry society in ways A.I no time soon will be able to supplant, nor women are planning to contribute to in ways that will matter statistically.
• Power lines, sewer systems, cell towers, grids, your cities, elevator techs, etc. etc. fields & careers I don’t even know about yet, all that can exist because of men.

All maintained regardless of women — BECAUSE of men. Highlight that more sometime.👍Because it’s not headcanon, it’s reality.

Encourage men with feats men do majorly as is and have been doing. Boost them up, empower. Why are you people so eager or so excited to tell boys it’s their own fault why they’re demoralized when you’re the one’s with control over their reality — your negligence is why boys often retreat to harmful narratives that warp their worldviews regarding women. They wouldn’t need to compensate in that way, if they weren’t running away from you in the first place.

• Some people in the comments of certain articles surmise instead of society accommodating to women as usual; instead they claim women adapted “as we always do”, which is a cute stance but the women that did work are in history books already. Not much else to adapt to when you can already end a man’s professional life with a lie with no consequences, it’s anyone who isn’t a woman that has to adapt and duck & cover; which is why men opt out & give on dealing with women.
• Identity politics rules society, and women are in the top 3 of privilege. This “we — adapt” notion is 40+ years late. Everyone adapts to hardship, women are not special in that regard, certainly not in first world society.

Despite DEI and hiring processes going out of their way to skip over more qualified members (male or female or white) for various identity boxes. (because women can get skipped over for a POC that is male for example).

A would be Firefighter has testified this on record, and he’s right:

https://www.facebook.com/reel/952817143480173

Women have did their share of adapting then, but they’re not the women of your generation. These are silver spooned crop trying to own feats of endurance that doesn’t belong to them #1

And #2 while living in a generation of women crying “burn out” but also claiming adaptation: make that make sense.

Just being a woman doesn’t mean you have the strength of stronger women before you, it doesn’t mean you’re strong by extension of being female, it means you benefitted from the strength of stronger women who had to adapt the reality they lived so you don’t have to (as much) while living in yours.

Perform your own feats, don’t hijack theirs. I’d hold myself accountable as well for all the times I’ve said “we” when mentioning tradesmen males — being a hijack of their work on my: But the plot twist is I’ve worked trade jobs, so in that regard I get a pass because I fit the mold.

If the women claiming such things fit the mold as well too, well then they’re the real ones. But I find a lot of us are making claims online thinking being born a sex is like being part of a special club or The Avatar State where the members before us — by extension their feats are ours to claim as our own or something. Ridiculous.

Great women before me? I’d just as soon take pride in their accomplishments as my own as I would a man’s, because I am human before I am a male or female human.

That’s how I evolved beyond this “vs” bullshit: the attitude. Better for mental & social health as well.

Westerners and Americans need to diminish the doom, increase positive reinforcement of feats men still do and have been doing.

Yes, I belabored that point again because it’s true. Men have been here on business, Women were let out the cages, they caught up and men are still carrying some fields alone while women dominate others.

It’s called a counterbalance, not “competition.”

Now let me make this clear so that I’m not repeating what other articles do:

🚨NO — that’s not indicative of women falling behind or failing or getting carried. #1

🚨#2 It means women live differently from men, whilst not being that much different from men.

🚨#3 the sexes are not from different planets. Boys & girls don’t think the same way but they are not different, they compliment the other.

You can 1000% moralize & encourage engagement by just curbing the one-sided “do better” “failing” “toxic” talking points.

Women experience failure — -> it’s the system or men’s fault.

Men experience failure — -> it’s patriarchy’s fault making them into incorrect models of maleness, or it’s the internet’s fault for spreading bad messages. It’s masculinity’s fault or a bad version of masculinity’s fault, thus it’s men’s fault, patriarchy’s fault. Something vaguely male is failing men even though the decline is accelerating when they take gynocentric modernity’s advice. A flaw of men in some way, personal accountability.

You can’t have that air in your chests when your everyday privilege is because of Father Patriarchy, I’ve yet to see a Matriarchy get this far, let alone make an America.

So maybe cut the bullshit and wake up. Or keep doing what you been doing and see how low you can get those birthrates by 2030, cause if you’re going divebomb, have fun with it, right?

You should be grateful & be thanking whatever you pray to (even if your god is your next paycheck) that men do stagnate, that’s called “consistency”.

Change isn’t always a good thing, changing something that functioned, even if outdated is part of why you’re declining. You patched your software to an updated build, but it’s glitch, unreliable, and your civilization is caving in. Patriarchy didn’t do that, dismantling it is what fucked you.

Changing something outdated but functional for something inclusive, egalitarian, inflexible but more acceptable but you’re declining anyway. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea. Disagree? Then why aren’t you winning?

The outcome is the data, and even then, don’t always believe statistics, because people can lie about statistical realities to control how you see your reality which can then in prophetic fashion fulfill the statistical downfall you were shown.

I’m not saying adopt conspiracy, but just keep an open mind — both ways.

You keep seeing decline because “failing” “falling behind” “toxic masculinity”, gaslighting & disrespect is all males see. And then the alternative they hunt down is fetishism, positive reinforcement from blatant exercises of misogyny, overindulgence, regression, etc.

Men make their own damn decisions, but society has it’s role in pushing men into that destructive world through sheer neglect.

Devolving them into a shell of themselves & women are left with nothing, because men bring something better than money: “Counterbalance” “Male perspective”

Society, not patriarchy, but modern/defanged/ feminized SOCIETY aka everyone involved from media to education as it is & has been these past 30 years has more blame to shoulder than anything & anyone.

Men are not things to complain to, chastise & then they’ll wake up the next day and make life better for everyone because we finally got rid of the patriarchy; and everyone became friends & equity reigned supreme, then First world society became TYPE-III Civilization in 50 years record time because that dastardly patriarchy got out the way and a woman became president. bla bla bla —

that’s not how it works.

Treat men like people, not underperforming robots. The tone you address women with ? With care, humanity, understanding, empathy, leeway, good faith?— keep that energy for men.

And the crazy thing is, the author of the article (namesake of the title) was actually not a prick about it; I can tell just from her tone in the comments that she tried to be fair. Props to her. The issue still remains that pointing out that “problem” exists is not a solution, I’ve been guilty of that myself, it’s a horrible habit people engage in.

• ✅The falling behind we perceive with men & what we see women aren’t doing compared to men: Is called a counterbalance. Boys & girls think on unique spectrums, physically complimentary, but are not that different to treat as two separate factions, not even close to being that serious.

Otherwise a solution needs to be attached to the valid addresses that need change and the regular trademark western doom posts.

Stop reinforcing that men have to be women in order succeed when not only men are carrying more than their share of the weight, but women themselves are barely hanging on by the formula modernity’s feminism handed them to begin with.

Why would men in their right mind want to catch up with women when they’re “ahead” but a hair’s breadth from atrophy because most of them are proverbial walking husks.

The narrative is what’s falling behind.

"Mankeeping Is Why Women Are Done With Dating?" * The Hypocrisy of women complaining about lack of reciprocity

“”According to Pew Research, only 38 percent of single women in the US are currently looking for a relationship. Among single men, that number jumps to 61 percent. The gap says a lot. Women aren’t opting out of love. They’re opting out of being someone’s therapist with benefits.”

https://www.vice.com/en/article/mankeeping-is-why-women-are-done-with-dating/

Vice magazine asserts that 62% of single woman are opting out of dating because: they don’t want to be a male’s “therapist with benefits”.

Maybe I’m suffering from willful male blindness, but IMO, Vice’s assertion is highly unlikely.

Your thoughts?”

No blindness, the topic has validity & a hypocrisy.

🛡️There’s a double caveat to this that we miss: It’s no doubt many people in general are emotional vampires, & there’s no question that men aren’t reciprocating the support they receive specifically at the same rate, not that they don’t support women social/emotionally/physically at all, but not the exact same frequency, that is 100% true.

Why? because men aren’t as cognizant of emotional laboring as much as women are with the same intensity that women do.

That’s not on men, that’s just women’s wiring; but for men, however, one can be mindful to be more supportive. It not being a conscious concern is no excuse to be inconsiderate.


But the caveat to making this a national discussion (as if it’s not disgusting to consider caring for your children or giving a damn about your partner is now labeled “unpaid labor”, which is beyond alien and unacceptable)-

if you’ve had mothers or sisters or female friends at minimum, on top of partners, you’ll know that women cost every labor there is for men (including their monthly hormonal imbalances that you are expected to display understanding & patience with) and they do not always give that respect back either at the same volume, if at all. You can spend thousands on a woman, grand gestures & get none of that reciprocated. Buying women drinks most times isn’t reciprocated.

Soooo where’s “Womankeeping”? Is it woman+keeping? Or is it just giving a shit about the woman you are with?

Is it man+keeping? Or is it just giving a shit about the man, and the agenda this year is making being a partner a matter of burden & unpaid labor- as if the Federal Gov. should be paying women to do something as simple as care about other people or raise their own damn children.

Western Women are being groomed to be incompatible with stable human connection.

So women complaining about reciprocation is both understandable here, but \*ironic in grand scheme because one-sided deals once upon a time was just called

-

“the dating game”

and no one questioned that because women benefited.\* Point being: *It’s only a topic now because women are complaining or being signaled to complain about a disparity. So this isn’t about reciprocation solely or fairness, this is about women’s lack of gain & because women are the disgruntled, & due to that fact, only now does society give a damn.*

A relationship in modernity basically means “Her comfort & convenience”

🛡️ **The second caveat point is: Lesbian **women tend to perform more social/emotional labor than men regardless of relationship type**.

So what have we learned? Many Men don’t reciprocate, because women (gay or straight) do too much no matter who they love with. TL;DR men aren’t the problem here, actually-- because no matter who she dates, gay women tend to give more equitable emotional contribution, yet still give emotional labor inequivalently because that’s their socialization and instinct. Even two women can’t pace the other at exactly the same or “equal” volume. *Stop whipping men for not thinking like women, when lesbians go through the same exact challenges, with no man to blame.*

🛡️Thirdly, a lot of it has to do with personality, and the people you attract. I know a lot of emotionally available men, too much so tbh. And I emotionally/socially labor for almost everyone I know but I wouldn’t call it a “burden” just because they’re not doing the same for me at the exact same frequency. That’s dumb and petty.

Why? Cause how am I going to incriminate someone for not doing what I chose to do? AT THE SAME FREQUENCY? Not that they’re not doing it 0% which is neglect and abandonment but they’re not doing it at a volume I deem acceptable per what I chose to do.

**the common thread is moderating how much we give.**

(which is why some women opting out is a good thing, let the weak-links leave, let part of the problem remove itself. Let them be happy alone & free.)

\# Now to be fair, the common context is lack of “reciprocity” of being a one-man emotional support system, not the labor itself (allegedly), so let’s not misrepresent the case the they’re making

* However it is also true that American Women want their needs met at the exact same time, AND THEN DON’T RECIPROCATE what they do get from men, especially financially, psychologically, time labor, & physically. etc. So why are we sitting here pretending women have a moral high ground on **RECIPROCATING** of all concepts when getting something for nothing is damn near iconic for most western privileged women. 👁️👄👁️

Burnout is not exclusive to women in relationships, why do we think men have Mancaves in the first place? To get a break from social/emotional laboring for the woman. Where have you been the past 65 years? Always a victim narrative when outlets hijack the talking point, I don’t know how American men put up with it. Or how Society accepts this narrative that taking care of your own child is considered “unpaid labor”?

That’s not at all disrespectful, to any of us? Why doesn’t anyone ever challenge this crap? Just because they have credentials, doesn’t mean experts don’t have moments of ignorance.

If i’m not acknowledged or given a trophy for being a basic level decent human being, and or I’m not getting paid for it-- What the fuck kind of attitude is that?

Women are being set on a path to be the worst society has to offer.

Why do I say that? Think about it, for a while, I genuinely believed American males were the total issue and they just couldn’t handle American women but then I realized---

* Many foreign men of education & quality pass on American ladies too, hard pass. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Who wants to procreate with someone who’d think raising an innocent baby, not someone else’s baby, THEIR own child: was an unpaid gig? that’s disrespectful, and the very notion should be criticized.

Caring for your future is something you have to be acknowledged for. That’s the mentality of a teenager, not a woman, not a mate, that’s a liability. That’s signaling a conflict with evolutionary advantages.

(and it’s not even American women’s fault, their venomous culture grooms that into them. It’s making them incompatible with human connection. Giving a shit about anything or anyone, & it’s not given back *because how tf is a baby going to reciprocate caregiving? thats how stupid this is*, all of which is now a labor, or so women have been told to think. That is why American/Western women are undesirable, it has nothing to do with your education, and everything to do with the lack of maturity, respect, and that disgusting egotistical attitude.) You can’t just bring up reciprocity but not consider for a second what you haven’t given back the entire time. The fact that men have ALWAYS been emotional sponges & dump sites for Women’s trauma.

Especially as a woman in a first world country. Not second, FIRST world.

🛑 Side-bar:

“What women want isn’t complicated. They want shared effort. Mutual support. Emotional responsibility that doesn’t get passed off like a group project. When that doesn’t happen, they’re choosing solitude over stress. And they’re not apologizing for it.

Some women are called bitter for stepping back from dating. Others are labeled cold. What they’re really doing is protecting their capacity. The choice to stay single rarely comes from defeat. It comes from knowing exactly how much energy they have left to give. Until that imbalance shifts, more women will keep walking away. Being alone is easier than managing someone else’s emotional life. “

You don’t apologize because a lot of us think one’s will is above challenge, when do American women ever apologize or humble themselves to be part of the solution? Vs exacerbating the problem that exists to make it men’s project to solve.

Despite what we give (as stated as a caveat), we want simple things in return that we’re not giving back via what he’s doing at the same time, so it’s shared effort but on women’s terms, not what’s fair.

We want returns on our givings, but not considering what we give back by what he does. So what you want isn’t complicated, your attitude, & lack of self-awareness complicates what you say you want.

Because once upon a time men opening up was something you claimed you wanted, or you were told to want that, even the VICE article claims:

“Some men have started opening up more, which is good. But too often, that openness lands in the lap of the person they’re sleeping with instead of a friend or a therapist. Vulnerability without boundaries can feel more like a burden than a breakthrough.”

TL;DR you got what you wanted or what feminism/society/ whatever article told you what you should want- you got it, now it’s a burden.

Maybe stop listening to articles telling you what to think. This is why you should take outlets with a grain of salt, stop being told what you should want, stop listening to agents telling you you’re never the problem.

Beyond this topic, this is why you’re in this situation nationally, listening to these outlets.

Which aligns with opinions like this:

“Newsflash. Plenty of women DO NOT complain about men not opening up and being emotionally available. There is a vast lot of women like myself who want nothing more than for our men to SHUT THE HELL UP about their feelings and be adults. We want husbands to be our partners not children of larger growth that we have to raise.”

So stoicism or men opening up when they were ready / not crying into women’s bosoms every other hour wasn’t a problem? Hm. Funny how that works.

So, as usual, women were told what to want by progressive outlets or spoken for on their behalf by articles & outlets like vice (with good intentions, mind you), as to what women should want-- and usual, women, ever so independent of men but so obedient to their societal masters, questioned nothing and just ran with it.

Now you’re in this situation because of the exact same reason.

STOP LISTENING TO THESE OUTLETS WITHOUT YOUR OWN DISCRETION, STOP SACRIFICING YOUR AGENCY TO BE TOLD WHAT TO THINK ABOUT HALF THE COUNTRY. Because if men did that to you (& the Red Pill scene did plenty of this) you’d call it misogyny.

Listen to the facts, not the propaganda, make up your own damn minds.

And if it’s validating your experience? Don’t omit it, don’t ignore what it’s saying that’s true but be extra careful, because the universe isn’t your own singular simulation of life. Maybe you just have shite taste in men.

Bias is something even more dangerous, because vindicating women is how women get manipulated, it’s all about dropping your guard through flattery to then install fallacious suggestions that dramatized the truth into something fraudulent, then the whole thing gets muddied in-

*us vs them*, all over again and again and again.

That’s how Politics & Fear mongering works. It’s a science.

Studies are an insight into patterns & phenomena so one can have a view of reality, but these experts’ views of the facts are not reality itself, this is why you do your own research.

What these “experts” tell you isn’t infallible, nor above error. Even academia can miss or look over very simple, very basic nuances that can hinder whatever point they were trying to make, which damages the good of addressing what it is they’re criticizing.

So what what I’m saying here: the people in this study that started all this- didn’t say it before me.

Why? Because they lost the nuance because their view of the facts was their reality, not what the reality is in retrospect in mirror of the facts:

https://gender.stanford.edu/news/structural-burden-mens-declining-social-networks

So what happened is one is allowed to ignore nuance to make women’s immediate self-interest the only thing worth discussing here, a topic concerning the COUPLE isn’t about the COUPLE, just the woman’s best interest. That’s a modern relationship, her benefit, his servitude.

Which is why the main issue here is she’s serving his needs, and not the societal norm which is- HE’S supposed to be the slave to her will, when neither is okay, but it’s only a topic because she’s not on top. See how this works?

And that’s what is this really about, and that’s why Westerners will never make progress as long as you keep up this contrived, fake drama, Gender War mongering.

And we isolate ourselves so you can maintain a bubble of control. Where your only partner is self-worship and self-interest.

“Some women are called bitter for stepping back from dating. Others are labeled cold. What they’re really doing is protecting their capacity. “

You wouldn’t need to protect a capacity, if we managed it properly in the first place, women are only the victims of articles & outlets out to ruin the only chance at women’s happiness with men. It’s always, always, ALWAYS a fight with you Americans. It’s truly a social disease.

It’s always someone else’s fault, or there’s this coddling, smothering justifying framed in a victim narrative. It’s nauseating how women put up with this kid glove treatment, told to be Bosses & CEO’s but you never shut down these talking points.

All this justifying why women turned tail, when in reality, it’s simply failing a simple test of our relationships, women gave up and ran away, that’s what it is.

And for some? They genuinely function better alone, or some situations were really bad (abusive), but for most in this specific context, it’s just running away in lack of ability of seeing through what you chose to participate in. Giving a damn didn’t come with a paycheck, a key to the city, or something to feed thine ego.

Then the media is spinning this in a way that makes women the unsung heroes.

• Which GUARANTEES women never improve how or who they choose, because someone else is always the problem, every single time. Every single year, every single occasion it’s another article about men doing something wrong, women are always vindicated in the matter.

That’s unnatural, there’s no quantifiable way that women are never a factor in how things go wrong for women in the lives of women. Pure infantilism. Pure enabled delusion.

Almost as if that’s the new rigid norm now, women being coddled by the zeitgeist.

Which is fine, unhealthy but ok, your culture does that, but women’s agency to change the course of the situation they’re involved in, their stake in it is the sacrifice for them never taking accountability for their part in the matter.

It’s an unnecessary sacrifice, all we have to do is try them with the same energy we spare for men.

And if that’s a problem? If that’s misogyny. Maybe how you come at men (tone & delivery alike) is what needs to change too.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/mankeeping-is-why-women-are-done-with-dating/
- Mankeeping Is Why Women Are Done With Dating

🛑

All this is- is the articles addressing women being burnt out because they ended up with a needy man-- not a man, *a NEEDY man specifically & the emotional cost of women in that situation is a real concern (that I’ve witnessed btw) but it gets dramatized beyond reason to broad-brush MEN, the enemy of women.*

• Americans tend to take relatively simple situations like this and make it into a national pearl clutch to further demoralize your males from trying or give your women yet one more thing to be bitter about when in reality, they’re the common theme of the problem, not men. Big shock.

• Not that women are the bad guy here, but the source of the pattern, very simple.
  
  
  

If men started saying women trusting them with their trauma/vents/dumps/shoulder cries or their monthly hormone spikes (which women can’t control) was a “burden”, or dealing with women was an unpaid labor, or unacknowledged trifle he shouldn’t have to put up with when what he wants he could just get from a sex doll-

“So what purpose does a woman serve? When a VR Waifu can woman better than a women during a time where women think everything is a labor?”

Imagine that as an article, that would make women feel horrible, & even if it didn’t for the minority that would just cry “incel”, it’s a disgusting and vile thing to imply, let alone say, or believe.

• I repeat: “Lesbian **women tend to perform more social/emotional labor than men regardless of relationship type**. “

• TL;DR The issue isn’t men, the common theme is women overextending. But when the narrative is making men the problem-- that nuance will always be smothered & suppressed, perhaps on purpose, but I’m going to hope that isn’t the case.
  
  
  All you can do is be mindful to be more available, but don’t stress over “equal labor”, because again, her lack of reciprocity isn’t a problem in the gaze of society. Strive for fairness & consideration but keep in mind, men & women have different natural proclivities. Just do your best.

Lastly, to reiterate:

All one can do is just advise us be more mindful of being available emotional support as much as we can.

The pedantic/childish element here is while you can be mindful to be fair to your partner, but there’s no realistic way to keep score of who’s supporting who at what volume, EQUALLY, at all times, again, it’s asinine.

You’re fetishizing equity & over-complicating your own formula, while ignoring your own lacking.

Because what she’s not doing at the same rate you do for her, that isn’t a national concern, very convenient criterion.👁️👄👁️

Because lesbians face the same labor challenges, I repeat, so it’s clear men doing more isn’t the sole solution as much as it is Women, in reality, simply moderating how much they give at a time in the first place.

Articles won’t state that simple fact, but they will propose:

“Some women are called bitter for stepping back from dating. Others are labeled cold. What they’re really doing is protecting their capacity.”

Women are the victims. This is why no one abroad wants western women, they’ve been bred to be undesirable. Not intimidated by education or this hybrid sense of independence (because conveniently dependent on Papa Government.) as much as it is women of western world are martially incompetent, and again, they’ve been groomed & molded mercilessly to be like this.

Look at we’re talking about, their society literally invents words with “Man” as the prefix to condition an association of resentment with half of their country, when the lack of reciprocation, women do at the exact same time. But these articles hold back women’s role in the matter & only focus on one party. Who does that?

Why settle for a perpetual victim, when you can just go to another country & find a woman to be happy with instead?

Because no one can control or should have to control how much she gives, than she herself.

Don’t stop giving, but moderate how much, that’s just common sense. Why couldn’t VICE say this? Because their agenda, like everyone else, every other month, every year, it’s not about a solution----

It’s about a new divide.

Men aren’t the problem, if they’re not matching what you’re doing, and you’d face the same issue with another woman, eventually---

Then Women need to gauge their emotional/social reserves better.

🛡️Caveat: If the person you’re with finds issue with that moderation, they feel entitled to your support flow, then have a conversation about it and set boundaries. That’s the time to test them & set boundaries, but don’t exhaust yourself then run away or get bitter because you allowed yourself to get drained. And then claim it’s you being educated that you’re insufferable & impatient because you expect a therapist to bail you out of giving a shit/ or too much of a damn about the person you’re sleeping with. When once upon a time men not telling women ANYTHING was also an issue.

Pick a lane. Stop playing with men’s emotions, Americans have this “men perform” syndrome, what women want on this particular week, men have to go Optimus Prime mode & just transform on command.

It’s disgusting.

• * Because if men wanted to complain in serious context that women don’t reciprocate on how much men do, perform, and spend for women-- my charge would be: *women aren’t the problem, stop doing so much then. No one can control how much you choose to give than you.*

Same goes for women here, putting the ball in men’s court just makes women a passive party, no accountability & takes agency from women, because they then sign of relief that yet again “He’s the problem, so he has to do for me me me me me me me”, as usual.

• No charge to improve, just victim narratives & vindication for opting out, because women are never the problem and not responsible for anything.

Same old crap that stagnates women’s ability to improve as options as is on the global market, let alone desirability in their own homeland, the same “not your fault” crap.

You don’t want to be a therapist, but him being an ATM, bodyguard, sponsor, therapist etc. all of that unpaid, unacknowledged, unsung labor stays right? Can’t even say he’s doing it with benefits, what benefits at this point?! What do men in American even get out it these days or what are they allowed to want?

He’s the man, unpaid is the default. But it’s a crisis when your labors are unpaid. We can not have this attitude & expect a future. Or maybe? The point is to destroy exactly that.

We can blame it on “norms” this & “systemic” that, that’s just deflection to alleviate choice and responsibility, to make it about a boogeyman, someone, anyone else but me.

• Socialization has a significant hand in your cultivation, why & how you think what you do, but it doesn’t dictate your directives, because there’s plenty of personalities that defy the norms. I’m one of them.

You are not a robot, you make your own damn decisions, own it. If you’re giving too much of yourself, moderate it, talk about it, boundaries, & if opting out is the logical outcome best for you? Do it. Being with someone is not meant for everyone.

Very painfully simple solution your outlets & authorities WILL NOT share because your agency is what needs to be repressed, so that you remain obedient to whatever they peddle to you next time on American’s favorite sitcom “Men are the problem”.

Don’t stop giving, just control the volume. DUH.

I do it everyday, I moderate my energy levels that I give to people, instead of opting out of being there for them as a whole, sometimes I don’t pick up certain phone calls, just to establish boundaries.

I just control the volume, I, me, my responsibility.

That’s part of being a grownass adult. Not a reckless amateur therapist with no filter of their own output, then surprised or angry or burntout when a lack of a filter or a backbone results in exhaustion.

When you use an office water dispenser to fill a cup of water, you fill up the cup until it’s enough. You don’t dump the entire tank of water into the cup until it’s empty. You MODERATE the output.🧠🧠🧠

Room for improvement is imperative, for both sides, men can be more mindful, but don’t let your country pressure you, or coddle you into complacency, bitterness & victimhood 24/7 and abuse you & your opportunities with any men on Earth just because you’re not the man in the situation. Take responsibility for what you choose to give in the first place, and don’t allow these agents to make you think human connection without a damn reward is a labor, don’t let them turn you into that monster.

And don’t let your country gaslight & abuse you yet again for the hundredth time- just because you’re not the woman in the situation, just be mindful of your contributions, do your research, and be considerate. Don’t be the tool, you don’t exist for women’s whims, don’t let these outlets beat you into submission, don’t be bitter against women, they’re being used.

Both sides are in the middle of something fierce and the resource is your defeat, isolation, and resentment.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ No one’s the villain, don’t allow your “experts” to sabotage you with good intentions.